The Basis of Being Mentioned Honorably

After a brief period in which finals fever graced my apartment and I could not devote the required time to make a coherent yet all-encompassing blog post, I have recently returned home for the holidays. How lovely. Putting all my crap away in my room, however, I came across my all-conference certificates from high school. All three of them. Which all have the disclaimer of "Honorable Mention" in red capital letters, to let you know, just in case you forgot, that "yeah, you were good but I have to be reminded of who you are exactly." I felt different emotions upon regarding the circumstances under each were recieved. Let's recount those fateful seasons.

1. The Yeah, You Were Pretty Good But You Only Started Half the Games Award
My junior year in soccer, I started out teetering on the brink of second and third string goalie. I had hit my growth spurt, and was now an intimdating 6'4", 170 lb awkwardly malnourished-yet-has-multiple-stomachs ogre. Plus, my thrice-cowlicked hair was into my eyes, much to my mother's chagrin. Anywho, I rode the pine for the first third of the season before our starter began to falter somewhat. Our next game was against Madison Memorial, featuring two-sport all-state and future Marquette (and NBA?) player Wes Matthews. That week my coach came up to me and asked me what I thought about playing against MM. I gave him the John Fogerty "put me in coach, I'm ready to play" spiel, and then proceded to start peeing my pants in nervousness when he told me, "ok then, you got the start". I realized later that it was because I was taller than our other goalie, who was 5'10'' on a good day, and might be able to reach my hands higher than Wes could jump (not the case, but don't tell coach that). Long story short, I played well enough to earn the starting nod, and then rode a good defense to an honorable mention nomination. I felt that was all I really deserved, if I deserved that at all.

2. Generally Pissed Off
Our soccer team my senior year was very, very good. Our entire starting lineup could have played college ball somewhere, from a few D1 players to mostly D3 players, but we were solid nonetheless. We routed a few teams, including in conference, and thus I was pulled at halftime to give other guys some more experience. I didn't know it at the time, but that was costing me statistical shutouts, which was apparently a high value item for all-conference voters. I thought I was the best goalie in the conference, but it was clear to me that that was not how the teams were picked. How the coaches campaigned for you in the all-conference meeting and how strong your team was at other positions was. Our sweeper and our midfielder deserved the first team 100% no doubt. Our three second teamers all went on to play in college. That left me on the honorable mention squad. That pissed me off. I'll get into how I got my revenge in...

3. The Token Pity Award
I don't think I was ever meant to be a #1 player on a basketball team. I'm inconsistent. My senior year, I had the game of my life on opening night with 30 points, and then topped 20 only one other time all season. Even in intramurals in college, I play well some games and then disappear in others. I especially enjoy disappearing in big games, which has been a common theme my whole life, but I'll get into that in my next post. I basically think that in high school, I was like a Scottie Pippen. Could do it without Jordan, but eh not really. With no Jordan, Pippen would get the stats but the team would likely suck. Which we did. Royally. We got tripled up (80-25) by a team that really wasn't that good. In our victory (notice how that was not plural), I dropped 23 points on the kid who was the first team all-conference goalie. His sole job that game was to stop me, but I had extra motivation (besides the fact we were 0-19 and it was senior night in my final home game). The only thing that would have made it better would have been if I had dunked the ball (Yes, I could dunk. Barely) on the breakaway I had with 2 minutes to play (I laid it in). We won by 1, 56-55 (thank you David Farrow.) Our superfans stormed the court. I went to Denny's later. It was possibly the greatest night in the history of a 1-19 basketball team. We went 1-13 in conference. But with only 8 teams, it was an unwritten rule that every team got at least one mention on the all-conference team. I didn't deserve any higher accolades than the one I did recieve, and I'm convinced I only received it on a technicality. But hey, beggars can't be choosers. I'm happy for the award I got, and it has basically summed up my life so far. I've been good but not great. Third-best. Honorable mention.